Tung's Blob

Cryptic indeed

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 13:02:42 GMT

Hostgator

I wonder what it means?

The dream is over

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 18:20:23 GMT

But it lives on at http://tunginobi.blogspot.com/, because that's where my blog has been moved. This is just here for the wanderers who happen upon this dusty old blob.

May this collection of nonsensical crap rest in peace.

Do I spend too much time in front of computers?

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 15:10:21 GMT

Yes.

What?! No topics?!

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 06:30:48 GMT

Uh-huh. It seems my major source of discussion topics, the Hard Questions Room down in the MegaTokyo Forums is moving incredibly slowly as of late. I'd make up my own topic, but I've got work to do.

So there. Wait till next week, and I'll see if things don't speed up.

Just as a little thought question: has anybody ever had a metal splinter before? I was in a Computer Engineering lab, where we had to assemble a programmable buggy, and during the soldering process, I somehow acquired a metal splinter in my right index finger. I managed to pull it out before it buried itself underneath my skin, but even then it was quite painful. How does one acquire a metal splinter while soldering?!

I've stopped rambling!

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 08:03:53 GMT

Ain't that funny?

...

Anyway, I've decided that nobody really wants to read about me ranting and complaining about nothing in particular. Yes, I admit, I've actually run out of things to complain about. All things considered, things are running quite nicely in life. Yeah, I might not have any sort of social life to speak about, and yeah, things are moving kinda slowly, but isn't that the way I've always liked things?

Enough of that. Take note that I'll no longer be rambling here. No, I've not abandoned this place yet. This account will now be the proud home of my ranting and raving about anything in particular. This will be a topic-based blog now, focusing on specific topics, or at least just one or two ponderings over the previous week.

As for news on my thoughts on Kim, bad luck. You'll find them here. And even then they're going to be pretty thin on the ground, since I'm kinda outta contact with her, with myself placed in university and falling rather short of my attempts to move myself into a new life by dropping the former life. I concede defeat... there's no way I'll get away from the past life. Too intertwined with who I am. Besides, apart from LOD, Kim's the only other part of my former life I'd rather not part with. (Hand on a second, didn't I say I wasn't going to discuss her? Oh well...)

So, topic based. Wait until Saturday for my very first topic.

I'm still here

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 15:48:16 GMT

... the question is: why?

Well, I got stuck with this whole Friday-night-is-Christmas-Eve-night, and I missed out then. Of course, now I'm up later than ever, so I'll keep this short.

Got new version of GearHead tonight. I'll bet it's cool.

Been playing old-school games again. Got kinda hooked on Ultima 4 for Sega Master System, currently being played on emulator.

Development. Sphere RPG Engine supports same sprites with different colours. Found it out while mucking around with colour matrices.

My Christmas wish was Kim. Obviously didn't expect to get her, obviously didn't get her. Not too disappointed, I'll worry about it some other time.

I should get going. Cheers to one of the shortest updates ever!

An inane update

Fri, 17 Dec 2004 15:51:17 GMT

Just updating to remind you, the faithful readers, that I am still alive. My life has been draining away recently, thanks to this game, and I'm loving every second of it.

Still, I can't go on forever without touching the sweet, sweet code once again. I've been working on a roguelike game. You move around as an '@' character in an interface filled with ASCII characters, and basically, you explore. Screw artwork, I should have listened to those old game developers who didn't have the new-fangled hardware needed for graphics today. You should just enjoy the gameplay, and let the images come into your mind as you play. You shouldn't be force-fed 3D models of something that can't lip-sync correctly. Games are about fun, and roguelike games are just that.

Well, until next time...

Oh, almost forgot. Got my HSC results back. They came in almost as I had predicted: 80 average. Actually, I got an 83% average, but that's just the raw exam marks. I'll see what my UAI is tomorrow. This paves my future, in terms of actually taking responsibility. But when there's holidays, there will be much retro game playing and coding, and a bit of living in between. Actually, scratch that last one.

Bah

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 15:51:09 GMT

I don't know why I keep on typing at this time of week, at this time at night, at this time full stop. Oh yeah, this is the only time I'm actually allowed online.

Holidays have started for the rest of the school-doomed, so it seems. That includes my good friend LOD, so now I can call him whenever I feel like, or rather deem appropriate, which is good. But thinking about the holidays makes me think about school ending for the year, which makes me think about school, which makes me think about Kim all over again.

Today, I woke up the earliest I've ever done in five weeks: 7:45 AM. And I just sat for a full hour, thinking about what I'd normally be doing if I was still going to school, and what Kim would be doing at the exact moments which I chose to think. Really, the goodbye is pretty much official on this day, or maybe on next Tuesday, with the end-of-year mass for the school I used to attend. Then, I'd truly have to say goodbye to Kim in my heart. By early next year, I'll be concentrating on my studies in university, involving computers. Surprised? You shouldn't be, if you're a regular reader.

In fact, comment on this entry. I need to know if anybody is out there actually reading this mumbo jumbo. If there's a response, I'm famous! If not, I'm not embarrassing myself! Win-win situation!

I'll bet in the first month I'll barely be able to remember her face. By this time next year, she'll be a distant memory. It's a little sad when you think of things that way. But that's the nature of time. Time changes everything. In fact, time itself IS change. I refrain from wearing my wristwatch at home; there are already too many clocks around the house. None of them are really accurate, though.

I've been griping about self-motivation, or the lack thereof, for a while now. I can do this, but I really have to try, and so far, I haven't been trying hard enough. All I've been doing is thinking about it. Just like I've been thinking about Kim. I've spent most of my spare time since my final HSC exams just thinking.

And I think I'll keep on thinking, because that's what I do best. Better than programming. Better than writing. Better than conjuring up gobbledegook that involves an extended vocabulary that portrays me as somebody smarter than what I truly am. Heck, I'm even better at thinking than I am flirting with women on the bus or on the street.

But I'll keep on thinking, because that's what makes me me. Now, it's about time that I poured my thinking energy into something more productive than inner monologue...

Sitting by my big pretend phone pretending to give a crap.

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 15:47:00 GMT

In the words of none other than the most obnoxious pediatrician (spelling?) in practice, featuring in the hospital sitcom Scrubs, which I've instantly grown to love in this new season... if it can be called that, it features on late nights near midnight.

Really, I've got all these great ideas, and I feel like I've got the mind to do almost anything I really want to. However, the reality harks a different message. I've done virtually nothing over the past week or so. The question is: Am I kidding myself? Am I really capable of doing these things? Yes, I've always been. But will they ever be done. At the current rate of work, 0 units of work per unit of time, I won't be finished... well, ever.

But there is hope. I'm seeing if I can get myself off of my lazy arse and actually doing some creative writing. It's funny, creative writing always gets my mind buzzing. The secret is the find that "spark" that tells you to start writing, because once you've begun writing a section, you feel the need to see it through to the end, which is good. Souls of the Rift has been that way in the past. Of course, SotR isn't moving very fast...

I'm beginning a new tale. The Iron Halo. A science fiction work based on the David Peterson's Hell Fighter world. I'm not going to bore anybody with the details, but it's a very good premise, and allows a lot of room for characters to flourish and conflict, all while fleeing the ever-present overbearing institution who "knows what's best". The important thing about writing is to try to not bog yourself down too much with planning. A little planning discussion is okay, but going into each event in detail without writing it will kill the story. I know, it happened to a "new and improved" version of Souls of the Rift; a version which quickly died, and I later had to dispose the corpse of.

Funny thing happened earlier this night. I received a phone call on my newly-acquired mobile phone. It was from a girl, which was funny, because I can't remember having any female friends within the past six years of my life (doomed to a single-sex school, I was). Anyway, the whole thing was just a wrong number dealie, and I politely and light-heartedly said goodbye and hung up. Afterwards, I could feel my heart racing at a million miles a second. I got so worked up, I had difficulty negotiating the halls of Dracula's castle in the guise of Juste Belmont, even though he was technically boosted to demigod status. It makes me wonder when I'll actually taking a call on that phone from a girl who's really looking to talk to me. Probably won't be for a year or so...

Wow. Went a whole LiveJournal entry without mentioning Kim... oops, too late. Oh well, while I'm here, and still reviving increasingly older topics, I'd like to point out her distinctive eyes. I don't think I'll ever forget her eyes... they're what I remember most vividly about her. She has these slightly darkened eyelid rims, not enough to look like eye shadow, but enough to draw attention to her natural beauty.

Programming-wise, standstill at the moment. I might actually want to follow up on Brian Robb's request for me to include scrolling in my Sphere console object. Then move onto my animation object so I can get to work on making the real Glob the Blob game.

Keeping in touch with my online buddies makes that single period each week worthwhile. Makes me wish I had Internet free reign...

Compulsion

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 15:28:16 GMT

Or... lack thereof. Ever since I got out of school, and stopped seeing Kim, I feel less of a need to do anything. I feel that there's something wrong with that, even though there might not be. I don't know, perhaps I've spent too much time trying.

The reason I mention Kim is because that I remember that "rush" I used to get whenever she was around. I mean, I was normally just a little crazy and ecentric, and I still am. But whenever she was near me, I suddenly felt this sudden burst of unburnt energy, and I'd go from strange to larger-than-life. That was along with the sheer joy... Come to think of it, I think this element of being larger-than-life at those moments was a byproduct of the joy.

Anyway, in those times, I was bursting with concepts and ideas, largely poured into my programming efforts and my story, Souls of the Rift. I was filled with ideas, and more importantly, the drive to actually give them life.

I've got this roguelike random dungeon idea crawling (pun intended) around in my mind. It's been in there for the past four days. During the first couple of weeks out of school (at last), I had other ideas which I immediately coded and painstakingly debugged repeatedly until they worked. Now? I've been reduced to sleeping in until midday, and mucking around with old freeware and open source computer games. I seem to have lost that compulsion, that drive to make myself actually bring life to my ideas. I've lost the buzz, and I think it's because of my having to leave Kim. It's far from the only reason, since I know myself to be traditionally lazy, but at least when I was spending time with her, I was actually following my heart, not just with her, but with everything I touched as well.

The ability to create has been temporarily disabled. I know I've still got the magic touch, to bring my ideas to life. But while I get over Kim, it might be a while before I really try to do something.

I was cut off in my last session. Well, what I mean is that my Internet connection went south before I could post my previous LiveJournal entry. The one that's up there is backdated. Since I only get to go online once a week, that meant that I had to bottle up everything I was about to say here at this time last week for a whole week. That, or just save it all in a text file and wait until now.

The point is that whatever I wanted to say then has been lost. Well, not all of it. I had something I really needed to say, and that was that I knew that Kim was going to attend (or rather, had attended, it was last Sunday) the Year 12 formal as one of the staff group, and I wasn't there. On that Friday I tried to give her the gift, I knew she didn't realise that it was the last time I'd ever see her. And I knew that when she got to the formal venue, I wouldn't be there. I knew that she would be disappointed. Well, I technically don't _know_ know, but I get the feeling that I'm right. I'm usually right, anyway.

That marked something for me, sitting at home while this beautiful lady was at the formal. I didn't purchase tickets. After all, my initial impressions of the whole formal deal was sitting around in a formal setting, having to use manners and correct etiquette (spelling?), watching other guys with their girlfriends, then sitting at the dining tables alone while the partners danced to some lousy music and I (and a few other unfortunate souls) would be left in my seat. And, final times like those demand some sort of conversation. After all, it's the last time most guys in my former year group would ever see each other again. Not me though. I'm not one for small talk. I've never been much for conversation, and I only speak when I feel I need to speak. Of course, it's killer for any notion of having a social life.

My point is, for people like me, who were never really "in", that things like the formal would just be sad. I don't want to sit at a fancy table, eating food I don't like, and then sitting in silence while I check out other people's girlfriends.

Of course, at the time I had to make the decision of whether or not to go, I didn't feel as much for Kim as I did near the time of the formal itself. Of course, by the time I might have considered changing my mind, the initial ticket payments were already set in cement. I wasn't in, no matter how much I wanted to.

Regardless of formal presence, I felt that that Sunday was the last I'd ever even think about seeing Kim again. That's when probability went from infinitesimally small, to zero. When I finally thought that Kim had said her goodbye to me, something which neither of us really got around to doing, at least directly.

But none of that matters anymore. I've still got my computer work to do, my games to play, my stories to write, my ideas to breathe life into, and my friends I choose to keep in touch with. Plenty of things left to be done. Lots of time to relax.

I'll be okay. The question is: Is "okay" enough?

Remembering what now?

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 15:29:17 GMT

There's a whole week's worth of stuff to write about, and of all the times I had to choose to write about it all, I had to choose my relaxation Friday night... or Saturday incredibly-early morning. Take your pick, it's all effectively the same.

So... I'm gonna need direction with this update. Hmm... let me see. I've spent a lot of time thinking about the wonderful times Kim and I shared before last week, before it all came to a sudden halt. I've been working on my programming muchly, as usual. I've been keeping online links with friends, which is a plus. Oh, WinAmp's original developers have left the project after being forced out by the commercial AOL. And then there's life in general after the HSC.

First things first. The eleventh of the eleventh. Remembrance Day, for us Australians. We all take a minute of silence in the memory of those who lost their lives in war. Or, if I'm anything like I normally am, that minute is incorporated into the many hours I keep my mouth shut anyway, and let my mind wander all over the place, grappling for some topical content, like I am now. Ah yes. I was watching the ABC as they went silent for a couple of minutes, and I couldn't help thinking about... the past. Yeah, even a "now" person has to look back now and again.

It brought me back to last year on that very day. I was still at school, a Year 11 student with my spiffy blazer, white shirt, grey pants and lacking the "Senior" badge which I received later on for Year 12. Anyway, I remembered the lower school yard, with the blue rubber flooring and concrete support pillars for the building. And, near 11:00 AM on that day, I, along with everybody else in the school, was instructed to move into this undercroft area. As I sat down, I did what I naturally wanted to do. My eyes searched for that special lady. And when I found Kim, and saw her, she looked right back at me. We were probably over twenty metres away and separated by hundreds of sitting students having their own private conversations, but we locked eyes, and we both knew how the other felt. It was a special moment. Needless to say, neither of us really quite focussed on the ceremony that was taking place after that. This far on in time, I can't really recall what she was wearing, or what was really going on, or anything like that. I did remember the important details, which were that she saw me, and all was warm and fuzzy. Such memories and moments still make me smile, even though that special lady will never grace my sight in person ever again. I've had many moments like these, recorded in all their glory on my local computer diary, but if I told all the tales, it would take up time, effort and energy I can't really afford at the moment. Or ever for that matter.

Away from the warm fuzzies for a moment, while I talk about the Sphere RPG engine. I've been hard at work making a console object for the graphics-based Sphere engine. I spent a whole five days trying to perfect the thing, and I think after hours upon hours of arduous debugging, I've rooted out all but the most obscure bugs which may just exist in my imagination. Basically, the deal is that you've got a little box, and the normal Sphere developer can now use the library and write a few lines of code to make a place where text can be printed and accepted, just like in command line modes such as the one DOS uses.

I wanted to include a few spiffy features, like word wrapping and scrolling lines. But after I accomplished the first, the second wasn't even worth my time. Word wrapping has got to be one of the most disagreeable parts of my code since... ever. I spent hours just trying to get the thing to work, and when it finally did, I wanted to go further and make it work better, like the word wrappers in text editors you see today, or in HTML document displays of text. Building it from the ground up was the most difficult thing I've faced yet. This is using only Javascript, with only graphical functions which allow you to specify x and y coordinates and the text to be drawn at that position. No fancy text APIs, that was all handled from the ground up. I honestly slaved to get that thing working. I spent hours using the input functions to create text that would purposely crash my engine. The funny thing was that I always got pissed off whenever I ran into one of those purpose bugs. I remember on four separate occasions of sitting back and shouting victory over my code for finally thinking it was working, only to discover to my horror that I'd discovered an unexpected crash.

I've reviewed the little console library multiple times before offerring them for testing by my close friend LOD, and the maintainer of the Sphere RPG engine, known to most as Flik. I hope they test out the console vigorously, because I have to iron out ALL of the bugs. I know I didn't tackle scrolling properly, and I don't intend to. I refer to anybody willing to take up the task as "insane", according to my little demo which says exactly that. Besides, I need to get to work on an animation engine which combines scripting power with regular images, instead of being stuck with inflexible animations such as .mng or .flic. This could be a revolution, if I created a systematic method of animation in Sphere, where developers, not particularly strong in the graphics field, could use their programming prowess to create animation masterpieces. It's a lot of work, but I have to do this. Partially to help the Sphere community, and partially because I can't really make much progress in my Glob the Blob battle engine without the animations.

It's hard to keep in touch with people, now that I never have a reason to really leave the house. I like it here and all, but it lacks friends. I can still talk to guys like J. P. Marshall III, or Straker, or LOD, or Blake, using e-mail and instant messaging. But I can only go online once a week, which is part of the reason I'm typing here at this hour in the first place. Well, that, and I've got a six hour download going on, which I don't think I'm going to complete now for some reason.

It's a sad age for software developers like me when a dream dies. That dream happens to be WinAmp, now under the maintenance of AOL, which I believe will push it far back on its list of priorities. The original developers were pushed out when AOL became forcefully commercial in the regulation of the actions of the original team, also known for Gnutella and an open-source encrypted peer-to-peer network whose name I have forgotten. It's sad for us small-time developers. The age of the aspiring developer has passed. People like me must turn to the collective power of the spirit of programming, or open-source. Once I move outta this house, and get myself a decent Internet connection at my beck and call, I'll make sure I contribute to the open-source movement. I have to. I need to keep the spirit of programming alive. To keep commercialisation from ever truly destroying the little people like me from pursuing their dreams.

Well, that's enough from me. I miss Kim, I really do. But when I look back, I don't regret a moment of what happened.

Update for the sake of it

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 15:40:32 GMT

It's a terrible time for me to be typing anything, so I'm going to try to avoid much of that. But before I go, I'll just say that I've finally completed highschool (woo!), I tried to give a small gift to Kim but failed because she refused it (she saw through my ploy like grandma's underpants), and now I have to get some serious sleep. I suppose that's the end of that chapter. Time to rest up.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention that I'll be providing more details next week. Until then...

Typing at two

Fri, 29 Oct 2004 16:52:09 GMT

I should stop typing at this hour. It makes me more tired than I already am. It's the only opportunity for me to type without the whole family peering over my shoulder, though. I guess this would be easier if I had Internet access in my room, but what are you going to do?

I can't find any decent free webhosting around here anymore. Just a couple of years back, free web space was fairly common. Now, there are all sorts of restrictions like not being able to link images from outside the website, displaying banners AND popups, and giving a pitiful amount of space. Makes me wish I was old enough and profitable enough to have a credit card, enabling me to register to reputable paid services. They're the only refuge from the crud of the 'net.

Rant aside, I may as well speak of life once again disproving my theories. I saw Kim again today, several times. I roll in to school in the middle of the day, about an hour before my Software Design and Development exam. I say goodbye to my father before he drives off, and when I enter the school, I discover it's lunchtime. Great, just gotta make it through to the other end of the yard and to the stairs without getting hit by the excessive number of sporting projectiles (i.e. balls) travelling at dangerous velocities.

As I'm halfway through, I notice who it was who was supervising. None other than Kim. I almost ran into one of those junior students on my way to that up staircase. As much as I would have liked to have hung around, I still had to do some sort of cram study for my upcoming exam. And so I head up the stairs. I wasn't sure if she'd seen me, but I was mighty glad I saw her.

I didn't have to worry about her not seeing me then, because outside the library, two floors up, she was just finishing her supervision shift. The school building is structured so that people on balconies can generally see other people on different levels, at least on the open air balconies. And she saw me, just as I saw her. Cool. Really cool, for lack of a better adjective or description at 2:00 AM in the morning. The last I saw of Kim was when she walking out of the staff lounge with a cup of coffee in her hands. She wasn't adverse to turning her head to catch a glimpse of me either. It's good. Makes me feel special. Actually, just writing this is lifting my spirits. That coffee thing sort of links back to that time I thought would be the last I ever saw Kim, which, funnily enough, wasn't.

These sorts of episodes worry me, because each time this happens, I fear that I'll enter a state where my mind hopes to just randomly see Kim in public or in the future, which, realistically, isn't going to happen. The mind knows that, but it hopes otherwise, and that's something I'd like to avoid.

Also, I read once that returning glances eye-to-eye was described as "intense" in terms of behaviour. I'm not sure if I'm intense as such, but I know I've got a stupid amount of willpower, and I won't fold to obstacles or adversaries. Unless I can't be bothered, it depends. The most important part about living is to live for the moment.

Next Wednesday heralds the end of my formal end-of-senior-years examinations, dubbed the HSC (high stress conditions). But I still want to come back to the school after that, just once, so I can speak with the school's helpful careers advisor. I want to submit a portfolio of my programming works to universities, and some advice in that respect would be appreciated. That, and it gives me a chance to pull another September-22nd style "stunt" for Kim. I want to give her a small gift. It isn't of high monetary value, but I think it's worth the effort nonetheless.

I don't quite know what it is about that lady. Whenever she's around me, I just burst into joyous life. It's a very strange effect, but my previous experiences with this sort of thing (though not quite like this... actually, each is unique) should tell me that I shouldn't be surprised: this is one of my typical responses. It has a positive influence on me, so I'm cool with it.

Sleep is imminent. Oh, and don't ask about my taste in music. It's cool.

Knowing

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 16:24:13 GMT

Now that I'm here... I mean, I've graduated, it's time for a bit of philosophy. I don't plan to see anybody from my school ever again unless they're really close friends. I'm nearly halfway through my final examinations. And I can leave all this school business behind me, just to wait several months and throw myself into another of society's educational institutions.

I was just thinking about the sheer pointlessness of virtually everything that has been pushed into my mind for the duration of my schooling. I mean, I finish off the English exams, and suddenly, my stacks of English notes mean absolutely nothing. I completed my Chemistry examination today, and my Chemistry folder is nothing but a useless piece of plastic. It's got me thinking... why does the NSW state government place so much emphasis on education that's so separated from life? Why not teach lessons about living?

It brought me back to what the basis of education is: facts. And examinations and assessment tasks are the analysis of an individual's capacity to recall and process these facts. In other words, the individual must know facts. And it's all very black and white: you specifically know a fact, or you don't.

And then come the lessons in life. The artistic view of the world. The majority of people dismiss it, merely on the basis that they're too caught up in the "real world" to really care about things like thoughts and feelings. Those things that can be perceived, but you can't quite put your finger on it. It's a little surprising, because some can have such a profound, deep and meaningful effect on you. Even now, I'm having trouble finding quite the right words. In the end, you'll understand me or you won't.

But lost are the senses. I recall thinking to myself of how people have forgotten how to feel. The smallest things can make the biggest differences. We should bring senses to the surface, in my opinion. Lost in a world of cold, hard facts and issues, the individual is lost.

Sorry, I'm not really finding the right words, am I? Philosophy at its core is without aim, so I suppose that explains a few things. But how do you know? When you're asked about whether you know somebody or not, on what basis do you say 'yes' or 'no'? Knowing a person isn't the same as knowing a fact or a definition in a textbook. When you say you know a person, you can really only sense it. You don't know quite the basis on which you make your answer... you just know the answer.

I think the key to knowing isn't in any textbook you hire from your school or college. It won't be found in any documents, or even in the best motivational or self-help books. You really don't have any words which will enable you to know life. To know yourself, to know perspective. To know that the real world can carry on without your worrying 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To keep the important things on top.

It was these thoughts that crossed my mind when I decided that enough was enough, when that schoolwork really started piling up for me. At the time, I thought that my first priority was to get my work done, at nearly any cost. I had an academic reputation to uphold, and I aspired for the top, no matter how hard. And... I'm not sure when exactly, I decided that the pressure was too much. I realised that I had blown scholastic matters out of proportion, and along the way, I had lost some friends, a life, and a bit of life itself (no, not a typo.)

To live, to think, to feel. These are the lessons that we learn for the rest of our lives. I remember in primary school initially believing that learning started in Kindergarten, or the very first year of school for overseas readers. Obviously, I, and the others who had joined me in the opinion, were corrected with the fact that learning starts as soon as you're born.

I look back over my school life, all my past thirteen or so years. I always said that I remember the craziest things, but never anything that I needed to remember. I can find accounts of what I was doing and how I felt exactly two years ago this day, but I can't recall the first twenty elements of the Periodic Table. I remember a girl in a drama mask hugging me from behind last year when I went with my family to my sister's school's open day, and even my exact reaction ("ooookaaay..."), but I haven't a clue as to what the formulas are for dividing a interval in a given ratio.

I was wrong. I don't remember the craziest things. I remember the most important things of all. I remember my life.

To more pressing matters and stuff. Once all this HSC business is over, I can get back to doing what I do best: programming. This coming "holiday" period places the focus squarely on a nice little RPG project I've been working on. Facilitated by the Sphere RPG engine, Glob the Blob is my first real attempt to create a complete role-playing game. Involving none other than blobs as characters, it's a single-player adventure, with the protagonist obviously being named "Glob". The plot's completely haphazard, but making this game is really doing its job in getting my mind off its arse while I plant my own in the computer chair :). Seriously, though, once I get stuck into a programming task, I usually don't like leaving it untit it's done. For example, I sacrificed twenty minutes of this weekly Internet time I had (*sob*) in order to create a dialog box system for Glob the Blob. I'm a dedicated programmer, even if I'm a lousy organiser of time.

Speaking of which, I'd just like to share now that I don't really like the concept of time as we have it. People that anticipate the future tend to always be prepared, but always worried about the uncertainties that are associated with it. People that reminisce and look backwards fall too deeply within themselves, and tend to become lost in their own thoughts, and, in more severe cases, sorrows.

I'm a guy that likes to think of the now-moment. You don't live in the past, and you don't exist in the future either. What matters is what is now. If there was ever a good solution to why I always leave things to the last minute, it's because I don't believe in placing effort into concerns that are not immediate. Call me lazy... I call myself thoughtful.

Bah. I've been rambling again. It's what happens when I'm placed in front of a keyboard for too long. I'll just wrap up my beliefs in eating, sleeping and breathing, thank you very much.

Just while I'm here, I may as well note that very soon I'll never see Kim again. Aren't you asking why I'm saying this when I already stated that I would likely never see her again before? Well, it turns out that I chose my words carefully. I don't say much, but what I do say is always important. As such, it's my duty to see that I choose my words carefully before ever saying anything. Of course, that tends to lead to situations where I just plunge into thought instead of saying something, but what the heck.

Anyway, I said that I would likely never see Kim again. Of course, things rarely ever turn out the way you expect them to. When I left primary school, I thought I'd never see Genevieve again, and yet I saw her numerous times after then. When Alex was going through her HSC exams last year, I thought that I would never see her again, and yet I've seen her at least three times, one time coming out of a local university.

And so, just when I say that I think I'll never see Kim again... there she is. I'm on my way to what I thought would be a dreary day for me, since it was my English Paper 2 - Modules exam, and I traditionally get my lowest marks there (or maybe in the first English paper... I forget which.) She didn't see me, which was too bad, but it's not like I'm going to turn back time to steal a moment for myself, so meh. As she came out of the train station I passed, I just took the time to watch her, while I walked, of course. I secretly hoped that she would follow the same path as I, but my mind could sense that she would take a right turn to the coffee bar. Funnily enough, that was exactly what she did. Well, what business does a student with a teacher he doesn't have any subjects with? Hmm... I'll leave you, the reader, to think about the answer to that.

It wasn't much. But it was enough to turn around my Wednesday. I went into and came out of that English exam with more confidence than I've ever done before. I wrote more, and I focussed on the question while still remembering to analyse techniques and that textual evidence (read: quotes) that I needed. I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to in the two hours given, but I did more than I ever did before in an English exam that consisted of three essays in two hours. It was a four-page average for me... an extra page above my usual average! If that doesn't register improvement, I don't know what does. On that note, apart from still feeling the warm fuzzies from seeing Kim, I had the additional spirit rise of never having to face the deconstruction and systematic analysis of any text ever again!

I've been here for over an hour, so I best be off. Apart from derailing completely from my topic of choice, I think I've written a bang-up entry this week. I type too much...

Goodbye mind-numbing back-breaking labour forever!

Sat, 16 Oct 2004 15:54:09 GMT

I despise writing at this time of day, or rather night, but it's the only opportunity my rather crowded family will allow me access to the Internet, which is a little unfair now that I think about it. Anyway, enough of the small and immediate concerns, I have officially graduated.

This means goodbyes to the people I considered my friends, at least in the senior year which I just graduated from last Thursday. It was quite a day, that Thursday, but I'm going to try to make it quick. But, knowing me, I can't make any promises about how quick this is going to be.

No, I'm not going into recount mode. The graduation day was good, because there was no more schoolwork, obviously. It was drawn out, though, which was bad. I myself didn't mind the day overall, but it didn't have as much to do with spending time with my friends as it did spending time with Kim. Yeah, I have to admit, I didn't pay much heed to the fact that I wouldn't see most of the faces there again. There's only one thing I'm really going to miss about highschool... and that's Kim.

I feel like going all nostalgic at this point, specifically about those special moments with this lady. There were a lot of moments when we'd look into each other's eyes... it didn't matter how far away we were from each other, because in those moments, we were always as close emotionally. Or maybe I've been putting too much emotional weight on this. Meeting eyes like that is technically flirting, so I've been flirting with this highschool teacher for the past one-and-a-half years. I don't know... maybe I'm wrong about that, too. It's most likely a mix between the two. But at least I don't have to leave with the regret of never getting around to telling her how I felt about her. For the non-regular readers, you might want to go back and read about that stunt I pulled on September 22 earlier this year. The point is, I told her how I felt, and that's enough for me to not drown in the 'what if's of telling her.

I said to myself no nostalgia. Anyway, that Thursday morning, breakfast was being served on the roof of the school. Of course, I already ate before I left home, so I declined. Besides, I'm rather skeptical of mass-served food. There were only two things of note. The first was that I signed the shirt of Straker, so at least there'll be one person who'll remember me when I'm gone. Or two, because none other than Kim, along with some other teachers of no real significance to me, decided that they'd join in the festivities. Actually, it wasn't so much festive as it was like another lunchtime, but in the morning, and with breakfast instead. Oh, and I don't really like cooked breakfasts either, too bloaty on me. So, Kim was up there, and she didn't notice me at first. Of course, being the keenly observant person I am, I noticed her instantly. She was eating along with those other teachers I just mentioned. Then she turned. And she saw me. We're traditionally very subtle about this whole business, so she turned back to her meal. But I knew she saw me, because she side-glanced me at least three more times after that. Whenever she looks at me... I don't know how to explain it, but she has a pair of the most alluring eyes I've seen. I picked up her slight smile too. She's so cute when she's happy.

But that was something I'd have to put behind me, because with the way the world works, it was likely that was one of the last times I'd ever see her again.

That is, until I realised that she had actually come to the graduation mass that evening at 7:00 PM. There weren't a lot of teachers at the drawn-out mass to shoo us out of the high school system the NSW state government has set up, but she was one of the ones there. Little mysteries like that always intrigued me. Actually, I didn't really find out that Kim was there until I was actually in and seated. It was a surprise to me that she couldn't find anything better to do on a Thursday night, but it was a pleasant surprise. I could just barely see her, and at one point she actually turned to see me, and that was what kept me awake through two odd hours of official-type people blah-blahing through the whole "ceremony."

Oh, and despite my programming skills, somebody else in my class claimed the Software Design and Development award. Oh well, I'll prove myself in this world some other way. There's always another way. I'm honestly tired of awards. When I go up to an employer, I don't want to plonk all these certificates, medals and trophies on their desks come interview appointment. That just makes you look conceited and one to rest on your own laurels. No, I plan on building a portfolio of my programming work, something I've got in spades. Awards mean nothing if the guy who has them doesn't have the motivation to actually get work done.

Anyway, when I met up with the rest of my family outside the steps of the cathedral, my mother gave me a relatively simple decision: stay behind for the refreshments in the school hall, or simply head home. The more impulsive (and lazy) part of me wanted to crawl back home after a tiring evening. But before I opened my mouth and spoke, I stopped. Perhaps... she'd stay behind? Yeah, Kim would want to socialise a little before going back to whatever she does normally. And so I decided to stay behind.

The night was actually pretty good. I socialised with the friends I probably wouldn't see again in person for a long time, if ever. Straker, Ian Lim, Sheekey, Blake, Sean "M.J." Yang... the whole bunch of them. But my focus was on only one person: Kim. She was there, and she noticed me too. And she looked into my eyes, perhaps for the last times ever. I could have just rushed up to her and hugged her, but I though that the one stunt I pulled on the Wednesday of last week of last term was enough. She knew how I felt, and I think that's made all the difference.

So, goodbye mind-numbing back-breaking labour forever. Goodbye friends. Goodbye, you stupid school. Goodbye, educational incarceration. Goodbye, having to deal with homework.

Goodbye, Kim.

subjectless

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 14:17:34 GMT

At this point in time, I'm fast approaching my final exams. In spite of my own efforts, I have officially wasted these entire holidays with... nothing. I've been doing little else but thinking lately. And no, unfortunately nothing is about the subjects that I will be sitting in for the HSC.

Today I saw on my sister's desk a 2003 yearbook for her school. Incidentally, a lot of girls I knew from my primary school also opted for this highschool, including one I hoped would be buried from my memory for good: Genevieve.

You have observed my lack of willpower in the struggle to study over the holidays, and now you shall see it in action again because... yes, I picked it up and looked. To tell you the truth, I'm a little scared of this girl. Not that she's scary as such, but... it's hard to look at the picture of the girl you obsessed over for numerous years and then fell into depression for. That, and looking back on my ugly, obsessive self from yesteryear. Nowadays, I've stopped being that dummy who had to be so latchy to what I now consider nothing more than a stretched-out infatuation, and instead looked for the brighter things in life, like sleeping and such. Again, it frightens me to see her face. I mean, she's pretty, and the fact that I still think that after so long is the thing that frightens me.

And then comes the big election tomorrow... or later today, rather. I'm Australian, if I hadn't mentioned it before. And this girl that scares me so happens to live very near me. If I'm quick, and lucky, I could probably avoid seeing her at the polling booths. So I'll pray for that. And I support Mark Latham and an Australian Labor government, just for the records.

Holidays vs. Study

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 16:32:17 GMT

I'm feeling really lazy at the moment... and tired too. So I'm going to get straight to the point. I've been in holiday mode, and my final exams for the whole of my secondary schooling are in less than a fortnight. Woo. Well, despite other's opinions, I was never the model student. Holidays like this inspire the gamer and games developer inside of me, while shunning away the stresses of educational incarceration. Feeling good, but I'm not sure why. See ya.

Last week of 3rd term

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 16:10:17 GMT

I've reached the holidays of my last official and full term of high school education. You'd think this would be a great time for me to catch up on the many hours of lost sleep over the past couple of years, right? Wrong. I've got my final HSC examinations (HSC = Higher School Certificate = High Stress Conditions) coming up, and these two weeks are paramount to my otherwise weak and feeble study tactics. It's in the following fourteen days that my memory will be jammed into high gear and store more than I'll ever need to again. Then, exam session by exam session, I regurgitate information onto the papers.

That aside, it's been a rather interesting week. So let me get started.

LOD didn't show up at school today. How the heck am I supposed to return that David Zindell novel he lent me if he doesn't show up? I've still got three days of next term at school, but if he doesn't come back then... well... he's going to lose a book, really. Then again, I could always just call him.

Back on Wednesday afternoon, after school, I gathered up what little guts I had, and did what I said to myself that I would do. Summoning Kim from the staff room was what I perceived to be the hardest bit. Not so. In her presence, I was unable to string two words together, and I was so nervous that my hands were shaking. For a while, Kim didn't know why I was there to see her. I knew I wouldn't be able to speak anything remotely coherent, so I just handed her the pocketbook/present with the note I wanted to give to her. She didn't quite understand what was going on until she opened the paper, reading:
-----
Kim

I like you. A lot.

Tung Nguyen
-----
It was at this point where her face suddenly changed into a smile. She quickly said "take this" as she closed the book with the note and placed it into my hands and started walking. I began to follow until I realised that she was walking away, so I just left for the afternoon.

To be short and precise, we were both pretty confused after that little stunt of mine. I knew how I felt, I've always had a handle on how I've felt. Well, Kim didn't show up yesterday, the day after what had happened. I've been able to successfully hide this from my friends... that, or they're just turning a blind eye to it out of respect for me. Either way, by what classmates from her classes have told me, she made a few mistakes in her instructions to the relief teacher. I could tell why she wasn't there, and to a limited extent how she felt, too.

She arrived for today's school day, though. She seems to be back to normal, and she's even returned to her original behaviour patterns of returning my glances again.

Well, now I can leave the school, safe in the knowledge that at least one female I've ever felt strongly for in my life has had plausible proof of my feelings and thus knows some part of what I feel. Even if it did sort of cause a system shock on both ends. Then again, what sort of effect would you expect from a student telling a teacher that he likes her a lot?

The night is getting increasingly late, so I'm just going to leave at this point. Same time next week, then.

Bah!!!

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 16:12:59 GMT

Hello again everybody! It's been all too long since I've posted an entry here.

I suppose it's not the greatest idea to be writing to a journal in the middle of the night on Friday when you really just want to go to sleep. I do all my real journalling in a local text file. Over the past year or so, it's grown to over a megabyte. That's pretty cool, considering how big a megabyte really is. In this day and age, it's easy to forget how fast the computer units just seem to shrink. 1024 x 1024 characters is a fair bit to type, you know. The secret is to just add a little bit each day you feel like writing about something.

I've made another little revelation for me. I'm now going to use this a proper sort of journal in the sense of the word. I've been a little cautious, since I've got friends who might think differently of me if they ever got their hands on this. But nuts to that, I'll take on my usual guise of indifference and plod onwards. There's no use having a LiveJournal account if I can't say whatever I want to say, now, is there?

To that end, I'll just jump into the deep end at this point. If anybody actually reading this cares about things that don't seem to make sense, then... tough. I'm not here to explain myself for your amusement. I'm here to type, and type is what I shall do.

First and foremost, I'm running along the final stretch of my secondary education. In little more than a month, I'll be sitting my final HSC exams, and then... nothing. Actually, high school ends much earlier than that, so it's going to be goodbye mind-numbing, back-breaking labour forever.

At least that's what you'd think. To tell you the truth, I'm not terribly thrilled with the idea of abandoning the way of life I've learned to cope with for so long. No, I still hate the work and I've no fondness for the compressed building in the middle of Sydney. However, at least I've made a rough schedule of my life while at school. I'm not a guy of many friends, but I'm not going to get to see them on a regular basis anymore, which is disappointing. BTW, the high school I'm at is all-boys, which is in itself disappointing.

There's one other reason I'm not so happy about leaving school. I'm going to partially respect privacy at this point, and I'll just mention a first name. I've become very fond of a young lady in the school teaching staff named Kim. And with pretty much one week to go before it all ends, I'm feeling very much pressured. Not because of exams, but because I know I have to do something about my feelings for this special lady.

But then I had to be plagued with the shy, quiet guy syndrome. That pretty much means doing anything bold or risky is an instant no. But telling Kim how I feel is going to be exactly that, and that's what I'm going to have to do. I tried to overcome my brain's judgement on numerous occasions to just approach and talk to her, but, even in such a small campus (little more than a building, really) it's hard to locate people, and even harder to find a little privacy.

I've got plans for this coming Monday, though. With a foolproof plan that caters for every situation I can think of, and with a little luck, I could be speaking with Kim as soon as Monday afternoon after school. It's an elaborate and needlessly complicated, but then again, I've got way too much time on my hands, and I spend too much of that time thinking. Thinking leads to this sort of craziness, but heck, that's who I am, and I'll be damned before I ever change that.

Good friend of mine, nicknamed LOD. Younger than I, but we get along better than most people. But lately I'm a little annoyed with LOD. You see, he doesn't know about my feelings for Kim, so he's happy to be spreading rumours about her. I won't go into the nature of these rumours, but it's causing me a lot of irritation and unneccessary anxiety. I wish I could just tell him outright to stop, but then it would reveal a lot about me I don't want him to know. Honesty may be the best policy, but under what conditions? I fear he's going to think much lower of me once he knows my standing in all of this.

But I plot and scheme and do these sorts of things. I've got an image to protect, albeit a lousy one, and I've got things that need to be accomplished. I won't backstab people, but I'm not adverse to pushing things aside in favour of my purpose. And in spite of all this, I still believe in a deeper sense of life, and no, I don't mean Christianity (in spite of the fact that I am a Christian).

So many people on my MSN "Friends" list, so little time to chat. I haven't MSN chatted with anybody for nigh on two weeks, and before that, numerous months. I can only go online once a week at this late night hour, which totally sucks. If I had more connections, this would hardly be a problem, but... nothing can be done about it. Worry is a poison, and I'm not keen on poisoning myself.

It's probably the same stance I hold for my exam preparations, or lack thereof. I know I should do something, but I've always been driven to do only the absolutely neccessary, and never anything more. I'm tired of working at schoolwork. It's extremely unrewarding, and seems to work to no purpose. If your schoolwork helped other people in the community or even around the world, then of course students would express an interest. But after 12 full years of study, us students at the final year are already burned out. We can't take anymore, we're through, and we're exhausted. This is the education system that the Australian NSW Board of Studies has designed, and that's determined by every conservative old person that gives a damn. Of course, nobody consults the students who are under the oppression of the system.

Sorry about getting so down on that, I should be thinking happy thoughts. Lallalalalala. There. Done. I need to stay more or less positive so that on Monday afternoon I'm feeling peppy.

That's my first TRUE journal entry. And there will be more to come. After all, honesty is the best policy :).

Holidays!!!

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 16:48:05 GMT

Well, the school holidays have finally come about! This means I actually get to make some progress on my pet projects... or not. I'll be studying hard over the next couple of weeks, because I've got some really important exams coming up, and this time, I can't afford to screw it up.

That aside, it's just nice to be able to kick back and relax, without having to be under the heel of somebody pressuring you to work.

What can I say? Anybody who just read this post, admit to yourself that you've been reading the rants and ravings of a 17-year-old pretty boy, and then hold a party for no reason! I heard the notion of a "study party" during one of my classes today... wonder what sort of study goes on? :)

Cheers!

Some wise words

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 16:42:16 GMT

I'm too lazy to come up with my own stuff, or even give credit where credit is due. All I'll do is spout out some stuff that I've read or heard that is worth noting:

"People created hierarchy so that they could have a class of people low enough to collect their garbage."

"Everybody thinks they're special. Everybody thinks that they are the exception. And almost everybody is wrong."

"If something was worth doing it would have been done by now."

"We do not see things as they are; we see them as we are."

"Memories are nice, but that's all they are."

Oh, and I, as usual, am drowning in responsibility. Cheers and goodnight. Damn, it's cold...

maybe_string = "promise"; promise_string = "taze myself to"

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 16:11:31 GMT

Okay then, I've got so much to handle.

First, I've got my creative writing bug. I'll need to really get on the ball with that, because I want to see Souls of the Rift and ./dxnet really taking off. I've got several other ideas, but I'm leaving them for brighter days when I don't have the looming threat of ten million deadlines to deal with at once.

Then I've got my programming projects to get figured out. In general order of priority, and don't worry if you don't know what any of these projects do, because I really couldn't expend the energy to explain them all, I've got to complete Express Cal, maintain and improve Evaluator and NameWell, start serious work on Glob the Blob, The Windsayer and Sinistral Realms... and I think that's about it.

Of course, that's a heck of a lot of self-supplied work. Unfortunately, I'm not all that great at organising my time, so I often end up playing computer games in my spare time instead of pursuing more productive causes.

Until now. I've made a sort of self-resolution: off with the games. No more computer games for hours on end. I'll personally taze myself into putting in a small amount of work on all of these things each and every day. Some days I won't be able to handle a few of these, and it's okay for me to skip over them, just like in my regular diary. Just off the side, if I actually posted my regular diary here, I bet I'd clog up the servers with my cascade of pages of words from my fingertips. My point is that I'll do work on at least one of these things, if not more, each day.

I've only got myself to motivate, so I better get a good night's rest now and prepare to "work". I use quotes because I don't consider working on my pet projects as really work. I tend to associate work with stuff that people higher in the hierarchy will check and kill you for if you do meet a deadline. My "work" differs in that I actually want to do it as opposed to being made to do it.

I suppose I'll have to change some my internal brain variables to conform to this.

Forgot to mention

Fri, 14 May 2004 14:34:48 GMT

Sorry, I forgot to mention that I've received a response from POD regarding the whole scamming a scammer deal. Here is the transcript of the whole deal:

---
BEGIN TRANSCRIPT
---

Hello all who I send this to, including the folks at Scam-o-rama!! Sorry about the lack of headers, but I didnt get them. All sections will be clearly separated. Enjoy!

THE SAGA OF WILSON KOREDE!

Wilson's Emails Are:- wilkor2000@gawab.com amd wilkor2000@hotmail.com

###########################################################################################

Engr Wilson Korede
Director of Procurement,
Nigerian Telecommunication Plc.

Dear Sir,

SUBJECT: CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS ASSISTANCE.

I am the director of procurement, Nigeria telecommunication Plc (Nitel)and
a close
associate of the immediate past Director of Finance.

We are presently in apposition to transfer the sum of Fourteen Million; Two
Hundred
thousand United States Dollars only ($14.2), acquired from deliberately
over-invoiced
contracts involving the Nigerian telecommunication Plc (Nitel) into a
private oversea
account.

The funds need to be transferred out of my corporations account due to
the present
privatization exercise going on, which will make transfers impossible after
the NITEL has
been fully acquired in the on going national Privatization exercise. I have
made proper
arrangement/documentation to transfer the above-mentioned funds that is
retained in a
coded account of NITEL in my country’s apex bank. We are soliciting
that you help us to
receive the fund in trust.

We cannot complete this transaction smoothly without the participation of
a foreign partner
who would provide an account where the funds could be lodged. Since
the source of the
funds is related with foreign contracts and payments, the funds must be
remitted to a foreign
account. The remittance of the funds requires little documentation that
would be completed
as soon as you provide us with a secured bank account where you may
wish to receive the
money. Since it may difficult for you to divulge such private information, it
may help if you
can leave a phone number or email me for further advise.

There is no risk involved on your part in this transaction since the former
director and I have
perfected all modalities to have a smooth transaction
What we require from you by Email or telephone are viz:

{i} Acceptance letter of this offer
{ii} Your name/company name and confidential telephone and fax
numbers
{iii} Convincing Honesty, Trustworthiness and Willingness to abide by the
requirements of
this proposal paramount of which is Confidentiality.

We have agreed that you will retain 20% of the entire US$14,200,000.00
for your effort in
this transaction, 70% for us partners here in Nigeria and the remaining 10%
will be used for
refunds of incidental cost in the course of this transfer.

Please reply urgently by e-mail as we expect that the transaction will not
take more than ten
working days.

Best regard

Engr Wilson Korede.
Director of procurement
NITEL
###########################################################################################

Dear Mr Korede,

I am J.P Marshall III of JPM3 Industries, perhaps you have heard of my
company? We are a diverse company based in New Zealand, who have built a
multi-billion dollar company using outsourcing. We soon hope to expand
multinationally.

Of course, your proposition interests me, however I have been the victim of
bad internet dealings before, and I would like to know more about why you
selected me and my company in particular rather than setting up your own
account in Nigeria, or possibly offering this deal to someone you know and
trust.

I eagerly await your reply,

J.P Marshall III

############################################################################################

Dear J.P Marshall,

Many thanks, as I confirm your prompt response to my proposal.

However, before anything else, I wish to assure you that this transaction is 100% risk free and fail proof- as we have carefully mapped out all modalities for the successful execution of this transfer before communicating to you. However, I wish to intimate you that you should be disposed to utmost confidentiality, secrecy and urgency until we are able to secure the US$14,200,000.00 into your bank account. The need for these attributes cannot be overemphasized considering the nature of the transfer and the fact that its direct participants are still in active government service.

Like I have explained in my first email, we need your assistance as the funds are secured in a coded account of the Federal Ministry of Telecommunication. We are handicapped in the circumstances, as the Federal Legislature does not allow us to operate offshore accounts hence your importance in the whole transaction.

Consequently, we want to present you as the beneficiary to the sum of US$14,200,000.00. For this purpose we will incorporate a company for you and register you as a contractor with the Ministry of Telecommunication. We will also by virtue of our official positions secure for your company the necessary backup documentation that will facilitate the release of the funds into your account. These documents of course will be destroyed at the successful completion of the transfer. We want to assure you that your help will not in any way bring your name into disrepute.

In this regard we request you to send to us urgently name/address of your company, any bank account that you have absolute control over and you secured telephone/fax numbers. This information will enable us initiate preliminary application and payment process at the Ministry of Telecommunication and the Central Bank of Nigeria for the immediate release of the funds.

My colleagues and I would require your personal guarantee concerning the safety availability of our share on demand when the funds are credited to your account via telegraphic wire remittance. Note that if you follow our instructions clearly, we can conclude this transaction within the next 5 - 7 working days.

Please endeavor to observe the required level of confidentiality as we are still in government service. My telephone is not equipped with international dialling access. I will appreciate if you could call me on my confidential telephone number 234 80 3301 9407 to confirm receipt of this correspondence and for a more elaborate discussion.

Please treat as urgent. As we need to commence this transfer immediately.

My warmest regards,

Wilson Korede.

############################################################################################

Dear Mr Korede

I am pleased to hear from you, and would happily give you my telephone number, however my company's phones are currently having technical problems, which has caused me great difficulty, once they are back online I shall endeavor to provide the number with utmost haste.

I agree to confedentialty in this matter, however I wish to know why it is not feasible for you to create your own account in Nigeria to transfer your funds. I would also like to know why it is that you think I need to be assured that my name is not going to be put in disrepute, is this transfer illegal in any way?

Yours,

J.P Marshall III
CEO JPM3 Enterprises

############################################################################################

Dear J.P. Marshall,

Many thanks, as I confirm your email message. I wish to commend your cautiousness as evident in your last message.

Like I have explained earlier, I am just acting on behalf of the immediate past minister of communication who happens to be the originator of this deal. Also, as government employees, we are prohibited by law to be involved in contract execution, which is the source of this payment.

As a matter of fact, I have already started with the necessary documentations for the commencement of of our transaction. Please endeavour as a matter of urgency to be candid enough to let us know if you are declining your interest so that we can forge ahead and look for an alternative partner as time is of essence.

Hoping to hear from you ASAP.

Regards.

Wilson

############################################################################################

Dear Wilson,

Of course I am not declining your offer, however I cannot be too cautious in
regards to offers of this sort. I do not remember you sending me the details
of what documentation I shall need, perhaps you could send it again?

Yours,

J.P Marshall III

P.S I have given my closest partner your email address, as I am going on a
trip to Australia to see whether it would be within my company's intrest to
expand there. He should not need to contact you, unless something goes wrong
with my plans at the company. I do this merely as a precautionary measure,
and I will still be in Email contact with you from Australia.

-JP

############################################################################################

Dear Marshall,

I really think we should discuss this issue on the phone. Please call me urgently on my secured number: 234 80 3301 9407. If you are online, we can discuss via msn messenger.

Regards.

############################################################################################

Dear Wilson,
As I said, my phones are currently non-operational, however I do have msn Messenger as I use it for its video conferencing features. If you wish to discuss things further, simply add me to your contact list.

############################################################################################

MSN TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS:- (the following has had some non-essential parts edited out, and has been shortened and summarised at parts for the sake of space)

Wilson- How are you sir

JP-Quite well, thank you

JP-Now, why is it that you wished to contact me so urgently?

Wilson-Time is not much on my side, and i want to conclude this in good time

JP-I quite understand

Wilson-I need to register your company here so that I can start payment processes

JP-I see, and what is required for this?

Wilson-Just send me name, address of your company and banking details

Wilson-Also needed is a copy of your identification ie drivers license or international passport

JP-My company's name is JPM3 Enterprises Ltd. We are located at 120-234 Terion way, Auckland, New Zealand.

Wilson- send all these complete information via email

JP-Certainly, HOWEVER, My company does not allow disclosure of Banking Details without adequate documentation, and so forth. I require you to send me an official form from your department, allowing me to put in these details to that. Furthermore, as the internet is not a safe medium, my company will require proof of your Identity in the form of a passport or Identification papers/drivers licence etc.
can you obtain these for me?

Wilson-can you set up a new bank account for this purpose?

JP-I can, but I cannot use a personal account, and will have to use company resources

Wilson-how long will this take

JP-It depends on the legal situation here. You can simply scan the forms i need, and send them to my email account. We can wait for the documents for as long as it takes.

Wilson-okay, no problem, I will get you the payment information form, but this will take the whole of today maybe tomorrow including a copy of my international passport, By the way, what is your position in the company?

JP-I personally would be happy to accomidate you now, but my actions are prevented by my company's policy. I am the CEO/founder, the head of the company, but I still have to follow policy.

Wilson-I quite understand.

JP-Why is it that you requre to send this money offshore?

Wilson-well , I need to start making all the moves now

JP-Yes, but how did you come into this money, and why must it be moved?

Wilson-that is the only way to get the funds released, the source of the funds is from iflated contract executed by foreign companies couple of years back.

JP-I see. I have been told of other situations like this within your country.

Wilson-yousee, Nigeria is a country with a lot of opportunities like this. am not surprised that you have been approached earlier

JP-I had not been approached, however some of my colleagues have, they have told me they declined the offer, which i do not understand, but nonetheless.

Wilson- still think we need to establish verbal communication. Please furnish me with a possible phone number to reach you

JP-My flight to Australia will be tomorrow morning and I will not be contactible during this time, exept via email/

Wilson-for how long?

JP- Up to a week, depending on factors in Australia.

Wilson-be expecting the information via email as from tomorrow, and let me have a copy your identification immediately>

JP- I shall not send my identification until I have yours.

Wilson- OK, have A nice trip to Australia.

Transcript Ends

############################################################################################

Dear Wilson,

I have arrived in Australia safely and have begun negotiation with my Australian factors to open a branch here, and be listed on the ASX. I hope this letter finds you well.

Your partner,

J.P Marshall III

############################################################################################

Dear Marshall,

Many thanks for your email.

Find attached a copy of my international passport, as discussed. You can verify it at the Nigerian High Commission in your country. It was practically impossible to secure the payment information form which you are required to complete . The form needs to be completed at the finance ministry. As soon asI have your complete details ie banking info, I will have to go there and do that.

I have equally dispatch an associate to the federal capital teritory to have your company registered as a legal entity here. As soon as this process is concluded, you will get a copy of the registration certificate via attachment.

Do not forget to send your identification and the other information.

Have a wonderful time in Australia.

Regards,

Wilson.

(To the folks at Scam-O-Rama, I have the passport, and think it adds to it, but it is 327kb or a bit more. I also have a rather shitty computer which cant do bugger all about that, If you want it, Scamalicious buddies, or anyone else for that matter, drop me a line)

############################################################################################

Wilson my good man,

Thank you for the passport, I've faxed it off to my main office. I would like to know however, why you need MY passport for a transaction which will not be performed in my name, but rather in the name of my company.

Yours,

JP

############################################################################################

Dear Marshall,

This is to confirm your message.

I have discussed your issue with my colleagues here. In view of the fact that you lack the ethusiasm required to continue the transaction, be informed that the only way for us to go about this deal, is for you to call me on receipt of this message, for further deliberations. If I do not hear from you within 24 hours of this message, it will be assumed that you have declined your interest. This will permit for the sourcing of someone else to assist us.

Regards,

Wilson

############################################################################################

(edited) MSN TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS

JP-Wilson, I don't quite understand where you got the Idea that I do not wish to perform this transaction! I rang you as soon as I got the email, but I could not get through!

Wilson-I have been using my phone. It was agreed the last time we discussed that you will send to me your oersonal identification, why then are you asking the reason why I need it

JP-Yes, well I dont quite understand why I should send Identification that has nothing to do with the transaction

Wilson-It is just for my record purpose, I need to see the photograph of my foriegn partner

JP-I shall send a photo now, but the passport is impossible at the present moment

Wilson-send the photo and whenever you are back, you can send a proper identification.

(at this point, JP goes to google and gets a random photo of an office worker to send to Wilson, as he is not quite the middle aged CEO he makes out to be)

Wilson-Thank you for that, Now, I need information to proceed with ie banking details so that I can go the finance ministry to complete the payment application form.

JP-soon as our contact in Immigration scans the algorithmic function at the bottom of your passport to verify your passport's legitimacy, I shall send you the details.

Wilson- I see.... I think my country's embassy in your country would have been a option for authentication (proof of government level conspiricy? or was he just stupid enough to send me a scan of his real passport?)

JP-Yes, but that is out of my way, for one thing I am in Australia, and for another, I am not near your australian embassy.

Wilson- I see, right now I must go have lunch with a friend

JP-farewell.

TRANSCRIPT ENDS.

############################################################################################

(JP gets bored about now, and brings in a new player...)

Svotzy & Svotzy Solicitors,

230 Quirk St, Auckland, New Zealand
svotzyandsvotzy@lawyer.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir,

It has come to our attention that you have entered into a buisiness proposal with our client, a Mr J.P Marshall III.
You may not be aware of this but JPM3 Enterprises, our clients' company is actually a government weapons developer and contractor. We cannot go into further detail as it is classified, however you will see the need for utmost security.

To have the details you wish disclosed to you, you must agree to sign Form 27713 (a) and Form 122 (a) which we shall explain to you after your agreement.

Please also inform our client of this letter.

-Jakob Svotsy
Senior Partner,
Svotsy and Svotsy Solicitors

--

(how FAKE does the email i made up for this sound? How stupid is Wilson? The boundaries are endless!! Also, since when has NZ been big on Multi billion dollar weapons contractors?)
############################################################################################

(JP waits.... no reply, finally he looks on MSN in desparation)
(edited) MSN TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS

JP-Ah, wilson, my good man.

Wilson-how are you today

JP-wonderful, im currently overseeing the opening of our new office here in Australia

Wilson-are you still in australia

Wilson-so how long are still going to be there

JP-I'm not quite sure, but if you wznt to call me here the number is (+61) (02) 93 35 1236

Wilson-good...is it posiible to set up a bank account there for us to use in fronting for the payment

JP-Quite possible, yes. I hear my lawyers have contacted you about the security clearance forms?

Wilson-I have not received any contact from any one. and didnt you not informed me that you will be contacting me via your lawyers

JP-They simply require you to fill out some security clearance forms, all quite standard

Wilson-at this point, how long will it take for you to set up a new bank account for this purpose

JP-Depends on when you sign the forms my dear boy, as soon as you sign the forms, we can be underway. I expect you shall recieve the email from my lawyers shortly as they have just informed me of their sending it to your hotmail account.

Wilson-what kind of form and why

JP-All explained in the email my dear chap, I'd expect.

Wilson-I just got a message informing me that I have something from your solicitors, so just hang on for me to retrieve the message

JP-ah, good timing there, i was just about to give them a peice of my mind

Wilson-I don,t understand

JP-Its a phrase we use, possibly not used in Nigeria, dont worry.

Wilson-Ehm Mr Marshall, kindly note from here that after seeing your solicitor's message, I strongly oppose using your compay name and particulars in applying for the funds transfer

JP-Why so?

Wilson-because of the nature of your business

JP-that is totally irrelevant, our bankers are used to dealing with fund transfers of this nature, and you simply need security clearance.

Wilson-well just let discuss with my associates here.

JP-How long should that take?

Wilson-about six hours from now, as I have to wait till closing hours here, and i have to equally book for an appointment

JP-When should I expect a reply, as I am quite busy with the opening of our new office

Wilson-i can not say for now, you can call me by 8.00 PM Nigerian time, I should have information for you then

JP-Every time I have attempted to call you, and it HAS been several times, I have been unable to establish a connection

JP-frankly, I am becoming tired of this, and would like to end it quickly, perhaps you could give your superior a call now?

Wilson-You know....our telecommincation is not as sophiscated as the ones you have over there. We are still a third world ountry. I implore you to be a little bit patient, you get through

Wilson-If you will excuse me... I have a short meeting to attend, as soon as I am back , I will be online to discuss more with you.

JP-I shall probably be here, if not, drop me an email with your response

TRANSCRIPT ENDS
############################################################################################

(after some input, JP decides to get Wilson's hopes up... then leave him stranded and alone at wellington airport. Take that, sucker!...or at least he hopes...of course he probably wouldn't be able to get a Visa. Oh Well.)

Dear Wilson,
My associates came up with a wonderful idea! If you can fly to New Zealand, I shall return from Australia to meet you. I shall, of course reimburse you for the full cost of your flight to New Zealand upon your arrival. I shall meet you at Wellington Airport, and I, after meeting you face to face, can give you and your associates access to my personal account (due to your misgivings about my company) to perform the deal, and then I shall pay your fare, first class, back home. I shall also give you the sum of US $4000 for your trouble. After you meet me at Wellington airport, we shall be driven to Auckland in the company limousine, to my company's Headquarters, where we can complete the deal. I do not expect the transaction to take more than a few days. However, during your stay with me in New Zealand, I shall give you an all expenses paid suite in the Auckland Hilton.

I would have liked to propose this to you over the phone, but I am sadly still unable to get a connection.

I hope this can be arranged and I would like to hear from you soon,

Fondest Regards,

JP Marshall III

P.S I have sent a copy of this email to both your accounts, as this must be arranged ASAP.

############################################################################################

Dear friend,

Thank you so muh for your wonderful proposal.

Please note that I am just an ordinary civil servant here. I can not afford a trip to the UK, much more your country.

If you can arrange a visa and all other expenses taken care of, myself and one of the partners here can be with you in 7 days time, from today. In that case, I will be coming along with the contract documents for your endorsement.

Please get back ASAP.

Kindest regards,

Wilson

############################################################################################

Dear Wilson,

Surely you, the head of Procurement for NITEL, would be able to afford the ticket, even if it is only economy class, to NZ? And remember you will be reimbursed for the flight in full apon your arrival.

-JP

############################################################################################

(JP Waits..... Nothing.... Oh LOOK! He's now on MSN! Time to see how much longer this can keep going!)

MSN TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS (edited and censored, you blokes can uncensor it if ya like)

JP-Wilson, how are you?

Wilson-hi Marshall

JP-call me JP, please

Wilson-I can not call you as my phone is not equipped with international dialling access

JP-that's allright, it seems i cannot get through to your number either.

Wilson-but the line is very okay and free

JP-I dont pretend to understand the workings of telecommunications.

JP-Pity you can't make it to New Zealand

Wilson-i do not understand

JP-They were two sepearate statments, One, I was stating that I dont know why I cannot get through to you, and two, I stated that it is a shame that you cannot come to New Zealand

Wilson-Look Marshall, I take exception to your choice of words. I do not wish to continue with any more. Please let us forget about this whole thing. I am looking ahead for a more reliable person that can help us see this through

JP-What are you talking about? How did I give offence?

Wilson-by your choice of words

JP-Please explain, as I did not intend to give offence

Wilson-Let us forget. Kindly destroy my passport information in your possesion.

JP-Nah, I take trophys from the Nigerian 419ers I scam. Idiot.

JP-How could you actually believe I was A major CEO? Moron.

Wilson-you are a white pig

JP-Oh, boo-hoo, a moron is insulting me!

Wilson-go to hell......big fool

Wilson-you can not do ANYTHING

JP-Who is the bigger fool? Me or you, who thought that a young man was a middle aged CEO of a multi billion dollar company. You serioulsy have no brain.

Wilson-fuck you ONE MILLION TIMES

JP-WOW! A WHOLE million!

JP-Fare-Thee-Well, dumbass!
(JP Blocks all addresses coming from wilson, and moves on, Wilson sits in his net cafe stewing in his own anger, and fuming over his mediochre insults)

SAGA ENDS
#############################################################################################################################

---
END TRANSCRIPT
---

Many laughs and thanks from J.P. Marshall III. This was the most fun I've had in ages.

Deadlines

Fri, 14 May 2004 14:29:24 GMT

"I will meet all of my deadlines in direct proportion to the amount of bodily harm I will receive from missing them."

Just one of the wise sayings from the Procrastinator's Creed. I can't be bothered to post the whole thing here: why don't you Google it?

With that aside, I'll be telling a few sad things.

Firstly, Souls of the Rift and ./dxnet slow releases will have to wait at least a few more weeks until I can get my act together and actually find the time to restart them (they actually existed before, but I'm going to revive them with my new creative writing skills I have now that I didn't have before).

As for the roleplay (I think I mentioned it before... I'm not too sure), I somehow doubt it will be held in one of these groups, unless all goes wrong in the MegaTokyo forums. As I lurk about in the MT roleplay forums, I realise that there's a lot more to roleplaying than I originally suspected. It looks like my own deadlines will need to be readjusted... again.

Enough about my incompetence. I'm tired of talking about how tired I am. Oh, by the way, I'm also cold, too, because here in Sydney, Australia, the temperature has dropped lower than usual. The result? My toes are turning rather blue, and I wonder why I sit here typing in my t-shirt and shorts. Ah, the mysteries of life...

I've decided that typing about my "flirting with eyes towards women and their responding when I'm only 17 years old" isn't going to amount to much, and will probably be my bane for anybody I know who is reading this. So I'll speak no more of the strange and unusual issue.

Actually, I just happen to be one of the many people in Western society that feels like they're in a time trap: you have to keep moving, or you'll plop down and die...-ish. When you're finishing off secondary education, everybody seems to want you to focus on education to the point where you must think that education will be your entire life. The pressure people will put on you, particularly teachers and school staff, are basically asking you to throw away the remains of your existing life, in the hopes that you'll be doing exactly the same thing as before, but with a paycheck.

And then there are guys like me: the dreamers.

Long explanation short: us dreamers are the guys who believe that there is more to life than getting the highest end-of-year exam marks, more than the unholy amounts of study that people expect you to do and that we BS off and out of the way. It's true, there is much more to life. Heck, I'm a software programmer and fit the "geek" stereotype, if not in appearance then in other aspects, and I don't have a "life" as most people call it. Then again, most people have active social lives.

What happens to us dreamers? I'm not too sure myself, but one thing I happen to do better than anybody else in the area that I'm aware of is software programming. It's really more of an art than it is a technology, but watching even my fellow students in my class struggling with the most basic of programming statements just makes me wonder if there aren't enough people with passion for their work.

Why do I write software? I guess it's something like I wanted to create my own games, and the tools I had to start with were too restrictive. And so I painstakingly learned the art of software development. But I've come to grow a strange addiction to the whole software deal. I go online, and I read up on ideas and Win32 APIs and other such techniques, and I actually remember them. It's bizarre, how I came to love my work.

And part of that work also involves my love of roleplaying games. From that, we derive my constant desire to write creatively in the fantasy genre.

I guess that's the short of how I aspire to write programs, create games, and write fantasy narratives.

Of course, none of them have ever actually gone to completion. And why? Because of the time constraints. If there are too many people that complain about not having enough time, then let me join their ranks.

I'd love to write whole chapters of Souls of the Rift. I'd love to come up with new and interesting scenarios for ./dxnet. I'd love to finish off my cheap and lousy RPG, Glob the Blob. I'd love to get on with the storyline and character development of The Windsayer, also a planned RPG. I'd love to get on with the design specs of Sinistral Realms, my module-based RPG to be done cooperatively with the Modulex Freeware Group.

Dang, I'm even coming up with new creative ideas as I type.

But none of these things will reach fruition unfortunately. What to blame? School! (oh, and then there's my notorious trait of not being able to timetable my days...)

I think I've ranted enough. If you haven't already, head to MegaTokyo, if not for the comic, then for the forum forest.

It's bloody cold here...

Feel the power... the power of panic!

Fri, 07 May 2004 16:02:44 GMT

More on power! Well, not really. I'm in a rather large fix, and it's because I have this strange phenomenon.

I call this phenomenon the procrastination/panic cycle.

What happens is that I leave everything until the last minute, and the problem with that, although I know I should care, is that I don't care at all. I don't want to care, personally, and responsibility was never my forte.

And then there's the panic. This will usually occur on the last day or days prior to a deadline. Now I know I haven't much time to complete my Software Design and Development Major Software Project, which I was supposed to be working on over the last six monthsm but only started a week ago.

For the uninitiated, Software Design and Development is a subject I'm learning as part of my secondary education. And the Major Software Project is a large software assignment that we have to develop ourselves. By this time in two days, the program should be working to a reasonable degree, and be handed in along with documentation.

The program is fine, seeing as I'm the star programmer of my class, and of my school, possibly better than most of the city I'm in (except the professionals). The problem comes with the docs. I have to work on IPO charts, Gantt Charts, algorithms, test data and desk checks in a whole two days. And I have to get it presentable as well. Oh, and don't forget the user documentation.

Enough about me. I just wonder if there's anybody out there that also experiences the procrastinate/panic cycle? Or is it just me with a few loose brain parts?

Watch this space, because soon I'll be releasing a progressive story on a weekly basis.

This story, working title Souls of the Rift, will be released in paragraphs at a time. It follows the tales of Sukien Kazutomi, and lone-wolf schoolgoer in Takareishi Bay, living with a foster family. He, along with Ryishi and Riza, must face up to forces never perceived to have existed before...

By the way, I intend to start a new role-play in the MegaTokyo (www.megatokyo.com) forums, an experimental one about, surprise surprise, an MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role-playing game). In it, I intend for it to be so that people in the forums can role play in the world which I weave. I hope I'm up to it.

Finally, my good friend J. P. Marshall III has successfully scammed a scam artist! With my help, we're trying to convince him to fly to New Zealand one way. We claim to reimburse him, allow him to stay with all expenses paid, and to pay additionally for the return flight. The beauty? He's going to fly from Nigeria, all the way to New Zealand, and then, when he discovers he's been tricked by his own game, it'll be too late for him. He's going to be stranded in New Zealand! This is going to be so cool!

My next post will be about something I don't normally discuss, seeing as though I'm socially retarded, but I'll do it anyway. Look to the skis! I mean skies.